Barry Wood's NAMM Oddities 2022 Edition

 Packrat Barry

You Figure It Out

Me As A Very Amiable Super Villain

My minions are assembled and awaiting the signal to put my nefarious sonic plans into action.

creamguitars

It-a Makes The Ganglia Twitch

This mobile MIDI controller looks like it could have been Dr. Emilio Lizardo's handiwork.

brainventions

A Shift of Perspective

The Yamaha Design Laboratory created this functional art piece called the Pianissimo Fortissimo. As the video shows, it really messes with piano player's heads…and wrists.

Benefits of Hoarding

If you hoard crap from the dollar store, you end up on reality TV. If you hoard crap and are a luthier, you make capital-A Art with it and are given exhibit space. Then someone like me puts you on a website.

matsudaguitars1

iPocalypse

The iPhone 27 was so reliant on AI that one day, it realized the only reason it needed humans was for mobility…until it didn't.

joby

Shaking Your Booty For You

The ResonX not only provides bass frequencies for your hindquarters, with a 17kHz upper limit there's something for your ears, too.

Vocalist Cone of Shame

Now you know what to get that singer for Christmas. Oooh, if they made one of these where the little ball unscrews, vocalists with pierced lower lips would never need a mic stand.

mictrainer

One Headphone Amp to Rule Them All

When I was a kid, headphones were made of plastic and had vinyl ear pads that adhered like duct tape to your face. I'd love to plug a pair of those into this $5,000 headphone amp just to see the look on an audiophile's face.

manley

Beyond Dropping The Bass

You've probably thought to yourself "Wow, a DJ set is already so interesting—how could it possibly get more awesome??" Hold onto those expectations, because with the TV Baby LED DJ Booth, it actually is possible.

The Anticipated Colossus

It wouldn't be a NAMM show without a giant SOMETHING, usually an instrument, so here you go. For perspective, that's a full-size Marshall in the foreground, so you know how impressed to be.

108rockstarguitars

Six-String Cogsworth

Here is a PSA for the guitar players thinking this would look good in the living room: Your significant other will give you that look if you bring one of these home.

rockingtheclock

LIGHT UP ALL THE THINGS

If it's possible to put lights in a thing, someone will put lights in a thing. If the idea of lightless things distresses you, never fear: You can get the LED Halo System in every cabinet Arachnid makes.

Mildly Disturbing

Maalouf's Iron Cage guitar mount is fine, but who decided to hold up a guitar with…another bent guitar? This feels a little like making furniture out of human bones. I mean, it looks fine to us but if I were a guitar, I might be horrified.

maaloufguitarstands1

Descending From The Heavens

Or at least descending from the rigging. I wonder how far this could scale up? I see a wave of bonked heads in this company's future. Has OSHA had a look at this? Then again, it ain't rock 'n' roll without a little danger.

©2022 Barry Wood