Barry Wood's NAMM Oddities 2013 Edition

Packrat Barry

You Figure It Out

Cenobite on the Mic

Last year Bad Cat had Alien rocking the mic, this year it's Pinhead. I can't wait to see who they have next year.

Festering Disco Pimple

It looks like the top of the Party Rocker has something that needs lancing. Watch out for the purulent discharge though.

Brought to You by the Letter F

Due to the combination of their "unique" product names and graphics, Metasonix has made multiple appearances here. I'll leave it to your imagination as to what the "F" stands for.

You'll have to click on the image to enlarge it and read the small print under the "F-1."

  • Metasonix
  • 870 South Main Street, PMB 109
  • Lakeport CA 95453
  • (707) 263-5343

Muppet Guts

What I thought at first was just booth dressing turned out to be the product. Klops puts an 8" driver into a tube to create guitar cabinets that don't have to deal with normal standing waves. The "muppet guts" are used to dampen the signal coning out the back of the tube.

The Way To A Podophiliac's Heart

Given this amp is called the Pleasure Pump and powers a subwoofer platform, how could I have not made reference to a fetish

  • TecAmp
  • Alter Bahnhofsweg 5
  • 35745 Herborn, Germany

Be Good To Your Wood

You might think I created that title, but I actually copied it straight from the marketing material.

Nice Ass

You just never know what you'll find in a booth at NAMM.

Hot Fuzz

How many fuzz buffer pedals come with a bottle of hot sauce–and specifically hot sauce made by Johnny Cash's nephew? (I'm guessing the answer is 1)

Context Overshadowing Content

These mounting frames are far more interesting than the attached guitars.

A Truly Motley Crew

I don't know that I could put a more diverse collection of guitar players together if I tried. Glen Campbell and Mick Thomson? Whodathunkit?

Now That's a Metal Amp

What could be more metal than an amp whose transducer is a big hunk of brass?

I've got to think that a frequency response plot from this would look like an elevation profile of Nepal.

  • eowave
  • La Cure, 58110 Tintury, France
  • +33/06 61 70 20 50

Identifying The Demographic

There was an ice cream vendor and a bar side by side in one of the halls. You probably don't even have to look at the photo to know which one had the long line.

Candy From Strangers

The skull sitting behind him should be your second clue. The first one being that it's probably a bad idea to accept candy from a dark lord of the Sith, no matter how cute he seems.

These Are Not the Droids You Want

Bogner's Atma amp looks like it just came off some Sandcrawler on Tatooine. Move along.

TV on the Radio

Coffin Case had this guitar amp that looked like a giant vintage radio sporting the ominous visage of Bela Lugosi on the grill cloth.

Cheap & Trashy

These little boom boxes look like they were designed by a bored 13-year-old in history class. They seemed like they were made of cardboard. The oddest thing of all is that–unlike a typical 13-year old–the company doesn't have a website.

  • Rider Best Inc.
  • 915 E. 11th St.
  • Los Angeles, CA 90021

Pimped Ride

I happened to catch someone in one of the hallways on quite the stylish Segway. The only thing it was missing was a couple of boom boxes (see item above) mounted on the front.

Digital-Nasal Occlusion Syndrome

This sounds like something you'd need to clean up, but it's actually something that you use to clean off the gunk on your guitar.

Were They Lost?

Apparently the USFWS had a booth at the show just let any bad guys who might be trafficking in protected exotic woods knew that they were being watched.

©2013 Barry Wood