Barry Wood's NAMM Oddities 2015 Edition
You Figure It Out
The Iron Throne
Only the victor in the final Battle of the Bands can sit this throne.
- Gibson Guitar Corp.
- www.gibson.com
On the Hill Next to the Uncanny Valley
This is Mechelvis is moderately terrifying. If this were receptionist at the USPTO office they would have to deal with fewer visitors.
- United State Patent and Trademark Office
- www.uspto.gov
In Russia, The Mirror Balls You
I don't think V-Moda is a russian company, nor do I really know if their headphones are good or not, it was just the mirrored-studded mannequin that garnered my attention.
- V-Moda
- www.v-moda.com
Time Machine
Universal Audio had a clever setup with a flat screen video standing in for the studio with engineers walking around. Outside you could sit at the board and they'd take a black and white shot of you.
- Universal Audio, Inc.
- 4585 Scotts Valley Drive
- Scotts Valley, CA 95066
- www.uaudio.com
Still Not Dead
This is how I feel by the end of NAMM. These guys, from the band Still Not Dead were invited by Evolution Guitars to just chill and decompose.
- Still Not Dead
- www.reverbnation.com/stillnotdeadie
Sporting a Tremendous Honer
Is that a giant, graffiti-laden harmonica in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?
- KHS America
- 12020 East Gate Blvd
- Mt. Juliet, TN 37122
- us.playhohner.com
Oh, These Go In Your Ears
For a moment I thought I'd wandered into a different sort of trade show.
- Hearing Protection From Safe Ears
- Nieuwpoortkade 2A
- 1055RX Amsterdam
- www.thunderplugs.com
Fire Breathing Line Array
This is actually one of the finer looking line arrays I've seen.
- GuangZhou PanYu Tiansheng Entertainment Equipment Factory
- No.16, Shizaigang Road, Zhongcun the Second Industrial Area
- Panyu, Guangzhou Guangdong
- China
- www.?.com
Day 1, First Unmanned Booth Sighted
Apparently I could have learned to play guitar before the people from Guitar In 5 showed up at their booth on Thursday.
- Guitar In 5
- www.guitarin5.com
One Non Sequitur of Many
The phrase on the poster "Let Music Be Everywhere" did nothing to make a logical connection between the a naked woman hanging on a giant speaker cone with knock off music accessories.
NAMM Attendee Traps
I daren't make use of these complimentary bean bags on my NAMM death march, I'd never get up again.
A Bridge Not Quite Far Enough
The only thing missing from these was that the speaker grills didn't spin. Color me disappointed… with flashing lights of course.
- iPhoenix Int'l Corp
- 396 S. Los Angeles #211
- Los Angeles, CA 90013
- www.iphoenixusa.com
"Only from the mind of a German"
I don't know that I'm fully onboard with DHD's tagline. I know people of many nationalities who are fully capable of building butt-ugly, gaudy crap.
- DHD USA
- 4480 Pacific Boulevard
- Vernon, California 90058
- www.dhdusa.com
It's a Living
I guess Gator Cases was not satisfied with their stationary figure from last year and put some poor schmuck to work.
I'm a fan of Gator cases, I've got one for my studio monitors, a 2-space padded rack, and I used one of their effect pedalboard cases to make a custom mic case.
- Gator Cases, Inc.
- 18922 North Dale Mabry Hwy
- Lutz, FL 33548
- www.gatorcases.com
Smoke on the NAMM Floor
Lasers in the Sky.
- Chauvet Lighting
- 5200 NW 108th Ave.
- Sunrise, FL 33351
- www.chauvetlighting.com
Environmentally Conscious
This the best recycling idea I've seen for old speakers.
- PRV Audio Brazil
- www.prvaudio.com
Where Old Tour Shirts Go To Die
Liza Eastman made this wonderful quilt from old concert tour shirts. You know the ones, threadbare and tattered but you still can't bear to part with them.
- Ultracase
- www.ultracase.com
Eric the Half-a-Bus
Is this wretched demi-bus,
Half-asleep upon my knee,
Some freak from a menagerie?
No! It's Eric the half a bus!
- Sennheiser USA
- www.sennheiser.com
Bionic Fingernails
Finger picking prosthetics for those with the heartbreak of weak nails.
Not being of the Goth persuasion, I've only had black fingernails when I was careless with a hammer and that one Halloween.
- Tiptonic
- 2211 Flat Rock Road
- Watkinsville, GA 30677
- www.tiptonic.com
Doomsday Prepper Guitar Players
If you're a guitar player just waiting for the SHTF you'll want a long-term solution for new guitars after society has crumbled. If you use this building material for the floor of your defensible compound you'll be set.
- Fender
- www.fender.com
I Have Only One Burning Desire
I'll bet you never thought you'd ever be able to purchase four different Jimi Hendrix-inspired flavors of hot sauce. I'll also bet that like me, you literally never thought of it period.
- King of Fire Sauce Distributors
- 3275 Newport Highway, Ste. 5
- Sevierville, TN 37876
- www.kingoffire.com
Department of Redundancy Department
At 12 midnight, should you be unexpectedly surprised and surrounded on all sides in close proximity by herd of pig hogs without any advanced warning, your natural instinct for a brief moment (based on past experience) in this crisis situation might be to retreat back the way you came but the final conclusion might possibly be your complete destruction.
- Pig Hog
- 3920 Cypress Drive, Ste. B
- Petaluma, CA 94954
- www.pighogcables.com
©2015 Barry Wood